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Avoidant copingManaging the feeling instead of the threat

Avoidant coping is a strategy where a person tries to protect themselves from stress by steering clear of a difficult situation or the feelings tied to it. Instead of resolving the underlying issue, it alters only how the person experiences the problem in the moment. This brings fast emotional relief, but ignoring a changeable threat allows the original problem to grow larger over time.

By the edgi team We find the most surprising true thing about an idea and build a 60-second lesson around it.

Avoidant coping lesson Play the 60-second lessonAvoiding a stress brings quick relief, and the relief teaches you to avoid again while the problem grows.

It was never about work

There is an envelope you have not opened. An appointment you have not booked. A message from someone you like, sitting unanswered for eleven days. None of them is work, none is on a deadline, and each takes less time than you have already spent not doing it. What they have in common is dread, not workload.

Psychologists sort coping by one question. Does the move touch the problem, or only the feeling? Opening the envelope touches the problem. Tidying the desk first, deciding to handle it Sunday, deciding it is probably fine: those touch only the feeling. That second pile is avoidant coping. Procrastination is only its most famous instance; the same move runs on the envelope, the appointment and the message, and none of them is work.

More at stake, less looking

Investors check their retirement accounts less often when the market is falling. Across one large fund's accounts, logins dropped about 9.5 percent after market declines. The pattern was strongest among the investors with the biggest balances. The stake does not shrink the avoidance, it grows it. The more there was to find out, the less they looked.

Looking away from information because it might be bad has its own name, the ostrich effect. Nothing about it is a time management problem; opening the account takes ten seconds.

The bill arrives later

Avoidance is not always a mistake. For a stressor you genuinely cannot affect, working on the feeling is the only lever there is, and it works. It turns expensive when the thing can be affected, because the problem keeps running while you are not looking. The relief lands now and the situation is worse when you come back.

Follow a group of adults for ten years and the ones who leaned on avoidance early are not carrying the same problem later. They are carrying new ones, and the depression that turns up at year ten tracks the new problems rather than the original. So a move that only makes you feel better is not a smaller version of dealing with it. It is the expensive one. Where the thing can actually be affected, touching it badly beats managing the feeling well.

Approach versus avoidance strategies

Psychologists classify responses to stress into two broad buckets: approach coping and avoidance coping. Approach coping, also known as active coping, involves actions that directly resolve or alleviate the underlying problem. Avoidant or passive coping seeks to lower stress purely by putting distance between the person and the source of dread.

Avoidance takes many forms, ranging from social withdrawal and procrastination to substance abuse and other types of escapism. It forms part of the approach-avoidance conflict theory introduced by psychologist Kurt Lewin. Avoidance behaviors are also recognized as symptoms in post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and anxiety.

How avoidance is measured

Researchers measure avoidance coping through self-reported questionnaires that track experiential avoidance. The standard tool was originally the Multidimensional Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire (MEAQ), a 62-item test where participants rate their agreement with various avoidant behaviors on a scale from 1 to 6.

Modern research commonly uses the Brief Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire (BEAQ), which condenses the original MEAQ down to 15 key items. Beyond self-reported surveys, researchers also objectively measure avoidant behavior using immersive virtual reality environments.

Treatments and replacement strategies

Therapies targeting avoidance include cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalytic therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy. These methods train people to acknowledge, understand, and express difficult emotions instead of running from them, particularly following traumatic events.

Clinical treatments replace avoidance with two active methods: active-cognitive coping and active-behavioral coping. Active-cognitive coping involves changing one's perspective on a stressful event and looking for positive outcomes. Active-behavioral coping involves gathering facts about the situation and taking direct, constructive steps to resolve it.

Test yourself

When is using an avoidant coping strategy most likely to backfire in the long run?

When the underlying issue can be actively changed. Avoidance becomes expensive when a problem can actually be solved, because looking away allows the underlying situation to worsen while you seek temporary relief.

Does avoidant coping target the external stressor or the internal emotional distress?

Internal emotional distress. Avoidant coping focuses entirely on managing the uncomfortable feelings associated with a task rather than addressing the actual problem.

Who checks their retirement balance least during a market crash?

The people with the most saved. Avoidance scales with the stake rather than against it. In account data from one large fund, logins fell about 9.5 percent after market declines, and the pattern was strongest among investors with the biggest balances. The more there is to find out, the less people look.

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Questions people ask

Is avoidant coping ever useful?

Yes. When a stressor is completely outside a person's control, attempting to change the situation is impossible, making emotional distancing an effective way to lower stress.

Can avoidant coping indicate a psychological disorder?

High levels of avoidance behaviors can lead to a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. However, not everyone who relies on avoidant behaviors meets the criteria for the disorder.

Part of the Set · 7 cards

Why You Procrastinate

Procrastination is not laziness. It is emotion regulation gone wrong.

  1. Procrastination
  2. Perfectionism (psychology)
  3. Fear of negative evaluation
  4. Avoidant copingReading now
  5. Analysis paralysis
  6. Self-efficacy
  7. Self-Control
Learn the whole Set

Where this leads